Thursday, June 22, 2017

Spiritual Changes

Since leaving fundamentalism, I will be honest with my readers I am undergoing some changes. I am not sure where it is going to take me.  It is kind of a confusing place, crawling out of spiritual abuse,  being such an out-liner in the Christian world.

The alt-right is a lie, and fundamentalism bothered me more and more. I left the church system two years ago for good, and well, the regular "Christian" world is like a far off country.  I can't conform. It didn't help I consulted one of my old IFB pastors, I felt so downtrodden, and he told me, which may make some laugh here, that I dealt way too much with corruptions and perversions within Christianity and it has made me jaded. He has only seen my Facebook page which is far more mild then this blog.That kind of frightened me. Imagine if I had told him everything I thought. I never told him about this blog in all these years.

I also never have told him, "Don't you think it would have been easier to be like normal people not to think about things so much?" I could have been happy in a church all these years untroubled by so much. I suppose not all people have the capacity to understand. I wish I had not gone to him to talk about these things, I only know a few Christians in real life and now regret it. I have gotten the feeling I offended him even years ago and have shocked him with what would be considered 5 percent of what this blog is about and on the mild end only.

Maybe I have gotten too far out there, and out of the church system, I am confusing people. Sometimes we get to places where we have to examine ourselves and our beliefs even more in depth. I am in one of those times.I suppose this is a natural progression.Some people when I told them I now am an "ex-fundamentalist" asked me if I was now going to become an atheist. How? I have already been an atheist, it is a dead end to nowhere. Creation alone speaks of a Creator. So this is not like the time when one is a kid, and hates Mom and Dad's church and thinks "Forget this, I'll be an atheist." I am still a Christian, but I am a very troubled one.

 Most mainstream church people would flip out knowing about this blog. I take enough heat in day to day life. One troubling moment is when the old pastor seemed to hint I may not have really been saved. It was sincere as far as I know. I was so on fire and passionate for years and years. I loved/love God and felt His Love, there was nothing fake about it. It scares me that mild protests and a few "spiritual sounding board" posts, have gotten this reaction. Would they have gotten the matches and the stake out for this blog?

I don't want to make anyone stumble but there's a lot I have been questioning lately. I had to face facts even my view of God was off kilter on a personal level where I saw God more as Prosecutor ready to strike me down, with Jesus being my "Rescuer". I covered some of this in the "Where is the Love article?" Severe abuse impacted my view of God.  This may have been what made some of the religious fundamentalism attractive to me. I can't go on with such a troubled and broken view of God. It's got to be fixed. It has to be honest.

Raised by people where I was condemned from day one, I continued this search for answers and got stuck on the spiritual improvement hamster wheel.  Breaking away from my abusive and connected family has changed me too. I am not accepting abuse in my life, that said, the bondages of whatever religious mind control, shaming and coercion got broken. The spiritual abuser, whatever she was didn't have a chance as I was changing. This doesn't mean all struggles are over.  This world almost crushed me. My extreme outcast nature actually made this blog possible and it's risks. Normal people conform for social rewards, I was already cast out of the city gates long ago, so I got out a spyglass and looked into the religious industrial complex and reported here what I saw from the "outside".

The later spiritual abuse, brought in some major poison. Years around fundamentalists who focused on appearances and endless rules for "proper" living also took their toll. Life itself also impacted things. I had major spiritual oppression as a child playing into these outcomes, I was not allowed to have my own feelings, thoughts, validation or beliefs.

Often in false religion there is a lot of guilt-trips, misery, indoctrination and being shamed for "not being enough" or "holy enough". I definitely underwent that with the spiritual abuser I broke away from but there was always a degree of that in the churches I dealt with. Some of it was subtle and I was in denial. I didn't want to face how I was truly viewed. This went beyond me being seen as "rebel" or "iconoclast" but gave me reality checks how the disabled are truly viewed in American society and it's far less pleasant in evangelical and fundamentalist circles. I realize even years ago I never had acceptance or other things I dreamed about in a church body or a church family.  These disappointments built up. I have struggled with dreams for this world in living the Christian life being broken. One day I cried and said "Some "Christian" ideals did not match reality". I felt guilty when I said it, but it was part of my struggle.

I have faced facts that even years ago I felt intellectually oppressed and told not to talk about things. There was no honesty and integrity in that. I was just told to obey and not to worry about things or question anything. To be frank, the Protestant and fundamentalist world isn't that much different from the Catholic world.  Those who charge it with lacking love in some circles are correct. Going into a liberal church is no solution, where I will be told what to think there too and to fit a mold. My beliefs here remain the same, so that is no fit at all. I know they are just as manipulated as any right wingers. I am out of the fundamentalist world. Some may say I did this to myself and I deserve it. So be it.

Even those who preach salvation by grace can bring you legalism. It happens all the time. Get saved and then life becomes nothing but a measurement pit. "You are not doing enough.","You are not holy enough", "You are not separated from the world enough" so forth and so on. Sanctification becomes a contest. I felt more weary around other "Christians" then I did nonbelievers. What explained this?

 Some think formulas will bring perfect lives and holiness. People get burned out. I know I got burned out. It worried me that keeping company with fundamentalist Christians out in the real world just saddened me. I never felt right. I never felt I was "enough". They seemed rigid too, like they were afraid of bending lest they would crack.  Non-believers see this stuff and want to run. It made me feel scared and I think I figured out while I felt safer away from many so called "Christian" crowds.

I've discussed the authoritarianism, many times on this blog. In real life I am a creative thinker, I was an art teacher before I was disabled and still paint. I sold three paintings in the last three months for pin money and groceries. I always felt pulled in the fundamentalist Christian world like something was wrong to be like that. I chose them to escape the vestiges of Catholicism and for their claims to believe in scripture but I was left empty-handed there too. I have struggled with the feeling of being a "failed" Christian and like I do not belong anywhere. Some independent thinking friends have told me, "you are one of those rare Christians who have gone your own way". One can feel shame though given all the talk of fellowship being so important in scriptures. Others have told me my breaking away from the churches has been done in pride. They tell me I am a know it all and refuse to obey "authority". Obviously the old IFB pastor from 10 years ago sees me as a corrupted influence, he doesn't like the mild things I have talked about. There I feel repressed, and he was the more open-minded one among the rest.

I am in the maze asking God, "What do I do now?" There's been some wrestling too. When I started this blog I still believe God showed me a lot of things, not as a special prophet or anything like that, but maybe that was the price of taking this journey on this blog. Often I worried about the spiritual outcomes of where I was going. I don't want to make anyone else stumble, so posting this is very difficult for me. I can't deny the things I found out or deny God, Jesus Christ or His Word, but I am in a very strange place lately.  Maybe seeing through the glass darkly somewhat while still alive, I am not sure how to describe it. It's like walking on a tight rope. You fear falling away but you want the truth.

Perhaps if anyone else is interested in sharing if they went through anything like this, they can share in comments. 

Greg Laurie Preaches on The Secret to Being a World Changer



That phrase bugs me a lot..."World Changer". Hmm sounds like World Server and some of you remember me mentioning them before. 

Everyone wants to have a purpose and "change the world" is very appealing in being given that purpose like for a "Purpose Driven Life". Some of that stuff is based in pride, where people think they can have control over the world and run the show and change people and fix them, themselves. This is American competitiveness, "you gotta win" motivational speaking [see around 14:40 or else] with the back message, "Don't be a loser". Was the race described in the bible, to "win" in this world or change it? I don't think so.

What Do You Think of Christian Universalism?




I'm not posting this to agree. This is a video that finally defines what Christian Universalism is to me. This guy believes in Christian Universalism or what is considered Universal Reconcilation. It basically teaches all people in the end will come out of hell and no one will be subjected to universal hellfire. The appealing side of this stands out. Who wants anyone to burn in hell for eternity?I have struggled thinking about the love of God and those condemned to this fate.

It seems this doctrine would attract many who are troubled by hell. Hell has always troubled me. I wonder why Jews never taught a hell for those who died, and there are those who contest the definitions of Sheol [the grave] and Hades. If you do a strong's translation of "hell" it shows up as Sheol in many verses. Some of these Christian Universalists believe that Jesus came not to rescue us from eternal damnation but annihilation in the grave where someone no longer exists or the grave itself. 

"sheol, underworld, grave, hell, pit
    1. the underworld
    2. Sheol - the OT designation for the abode of the dead
      1. place of no return
      2. without praise of God
      3. wicked sent there for punishment
      4. righteous not abandoned to it
      5. of the place of exile (fig)
      6. of extreme degradation in sin
Strong’s Definitions [?](Strong’s Definitions Legend)
שְׁאוֹל shᵉʼôwl, sheh-ole'; or שְׁאֹל shᵉʼôl; from H7592; hades or the world of the dead (as if a subterranean retreat), including its accessories and inmates:—grave, hell, pit."

Hell is a subject I need to study, and deal with. There is a tendency for us to sweep under the carpet what bothers us, and uncomfortable topics. Hell is a major one for me. I need to be a Berean and study scripture on this topic. Considering the churches lied about tithing and plenty else changing what is in scripture, I don't take their words for granted on the matter anymore but will take God's and what does the Bible say exactly.

While I wrote an article wondering aloud about hell, the doctrine has always bothered me. If it's true, I must accept it, even though I do not like the concept of hell.  One question I always had is why did the Old Testament Jews never teach the existence of hell? Modern Jews have told me about Sheol. Christian Universalists seem to believe that everyone will come to redemption. There are those who believe the truly wicked such as in the Seventh Day Adventist church will come to annihilation and will cease to exist, that seems as bothersome as "soul sleep" where you die and "cease to exist" until Judgment Day but then time would be an issue there, not existing in eternity right?
 
Christian Universalism sounds "great", who wants millions going to hell? Some of this man's ideas "sound good" but all doctrine definitely needs tested. This is different "universalism" such as in the Unitarian Universalist church, I want to make that clear. Of course the fate for those in false religions will change for those who knowingly rejected the gospel. Of course when I thought about the Christian Universalists, I had the thought well if everyone escapes hell, what did Jesus come to save us all from? The Christian Universalists seems to think He came to save us from death itself and to offer us a eternal life and not a place of fire. Of course the Bible mentions the Lake of Fire, and different places defined as "hell" from Hades to Sheol. From my own end, this needs more study.

Pope to Mafia: You're Excommunicated

He is basically excommunicating himself. The mafia are part of the Vatican's troops world wide. If you ever have read mafia books, many of the mafia members worked hand in hand with local Catholic clergy. The mention of power, evil and money was irony at it's height.

Monday, June 12, 2017

The Alt-Right is A Ditch to Deceive


                               [picture cite]

A Skeleton Key to the Alt-Right
Read the article above for this post.

Some would consider this an alt-right blog, but it's not. I know in it's earlier years, I did quote from some alt-right websites like The Economic Collapse and others before learning more. I railed about Communists maybe a bit too much but at least never had a fervor for the Capitalists like my IFB Republican church members. I also posted too much of the fake "fear factor" stuff, like Jade Helm. Hey none of us are perfect. The system manipulates at every level.

Sadly some websites I had hoped were sincere just became repeats of the same Christian Zionist, Republican message. Lately I want to barf seeing more what I thought were sincere websites going down the paved right or left road. One guy keeps praising that Pepe the frog [Kek] Trump garbage. I even saw one website, I don't want to track back to here, where they were proud their little frog meme was named after an Egyptian god. A lot of the alt-right basically is back-lash to extreme neo-liberalism and identity politics. They both stink.

Remember many years ago when I wrote they got every level owned? I meant it. Controlled opposition is everywhere. Alt-right is a lie. I even realized some websites I was reading like Zero Hedge, were "part of the alt-right" game" so to speak. I got banned from there years ago or they kept erasing my posts, the subject was economics that was being debated. Yeah I mean it when I say real sincere discernment and political websites, are few and far between.

For example we can remember the days when Alex Jones came out against both parties before steering his followers into the Trump alt-right camp. Some other examples of alt-right blogs and websites, include Glen Becks websites, Breitbart, News with Views, and many Christian-political websites.

                   [from info-wars, Britain is having it's own left vs right battles]

This is a secular article,but I think the author does a good job describing the alt-right and what it entails. The evangelical world in being steered to the right wing of the NWO adopted many of these ideologies and outlooks on life. These would include Authoritarianism, "might makes right" and the social darwinism as outlined in the article.

"In my opinion, the core principle that defines the alt-right is Social Darwinism. This ideology ties together several other often-noted features of the alt-right: racism, white supremacy, misogyny, extreme market libertarianism, disdain for democracy, authoritarianism, reactionary politics, and technophilia. From their Social Darwinist belief system flow all the other seemingly unrelated features."

 The focus on white privilege on the left is being used to divide the races, but there is definite full blown racism in full tilt coming from the other side too. He is correct about the race and IQ thing. All one has to do is visit alt-right websites that have gone into full racism to see that on display like American Renaissance and other alt-right websites, to know they actually debate IQ levels of different races and the lighter you are supposedly are, the smarter you are. Of course one sub-theme on these websites is blaming African Americans and other races for all the country's problems. Most call for more police state in responses to higher crime rates and make excuses for police brutality and shootings.

[the above from Taki magazine, oddly a hang out for both Jim Goad and Pat Buchanan ]

  While not all alt-right websites go into racism, some do.  Most seem to have used "The Bell Curve" as their reference book. Being poor by the way even for whites a la Charles Murray who wrote the book Coming Apart: the State of White America is connected to having lower IQs. His book would label me one of the lowest of the low according to income. Of course he ignores the fact college education doesn't guarantee making good money anymore for Generation X and below. If you have studied the history of eugenics, it didn't die with the Nazis, it remains alive and is slithering back out.

Misogyny, definitely is the alt-right tied to the Dominionism and patriarchy movement. The alt-right is a very male dominated place. Some of the Trumpkin alt-right websites even are connected to the so called "men's movement", these are men who talk about having "game" and rating women on scores by 'worth" and sexual attractiveness. Love seems a foregone conclusion as even getting women is a contest to men like that. I've read some of those websites and some of those men really hate women and see them all as promiscuous. One ironic thing is while they rant against foreigners, they tell other men to marry only women from third world countries who haven't been tainted by liberalism. Right vs. Left, Men vs. Women, Patriarchy vs. Feminism. It's more strife.

[Students for Liberty,a libertarian organization love Ayn Rand, notice how she directly contradicts the bible]

The extreme market libertarianism, is the worship of the so called "free market". I have called it a unicorn on this blog because it really doesn't exist. Ayn Rand preached total Social Darwinism. With the so called free market, they call it "free"but it costs money and connections to get in. Capitalism is lauded like a religion. This started in the McCarthy era with all the focus on the Communism, ignored is that both married long ago especially when the state is bailing out banks at tax payer cost to the tune of trillions of dollars. I used to go to some political message boards and that point always flew over a lot of heads. They just didn't understand what I was talking about. That said, the Ayn Rand worship on the alt-right got out of control long ago. Paul Ryan is the worse example.They truly deem the poor as deserving their poverty and deny the oppression of the uber-wealthy.

The alt-right are very authoritarian, and they envision a world where the richest and most powerful should be in charge, Why else did they elect a billionaire business man to be president? The authoritarianism is tied to a societal wide lack of mercy and police state, and is one reason America has one of the highest prison populations in the world. Everything is to be pounded down. A kid smokes a joint or another a crack pipe and they get 20 plus years in prison. There's no rehabilitation or mercy or understanding or alternatives offered just punishment.

Reactionary politics is summed up in one word: Reagan. He is like a god to the alt-right even though he got the whole trickle-down ball of lies going back in the 1980s.

The Social Darwinism leads the whole mess. What is social Darwinism? Human beings are supposed to be cast aside if they "fail", and nature should be allowed to take it's course for their destruction. No artificial props such as healthcare, or charity should be allowed to maintain them.

So·cial Dar·win·ism
noun
  1. the theory that individuals, groups, and peoples are subject to the same Darwinian laws of natural selection as plants and animals. Now largely discredited, social Darwinism was advocated by Herbert Spencer and others in the late 19th and early 20th centuries and was used to justify political conservatism, imperialism, and racism and to discourage intervention and reform.


"They embrace an absolute “Might Makes Right” ethos. Any attempts at justice, fairness or solidarity are doomed to fail, they argue, because society is a constant, unremitting struggle of all against all, and always has been. Furthermore, they believe that this is a profoundly good thing! Not only is it a good thing, but we should strive to create as much of a “winner take all” society as we possibly can, because only such a society will Darwinian evolution be driven to the fullest extent. They believe that human nature is fundamentally competitive and acquisitive. Thus, they take capitalism as “natural” and anything else as “unnatural” and therefore “social engineering.”

Thus, the “free” market is not the best means to ensure prosperity for all, as the original market liberals claimed. Rather, suffering and death must be built into the system because only that allows it to act as an appropriate Darwinian winnowing mechanism permitting the “survival of the fittest.” And who are the “fittest?” Those who rise to the top and make the most money are the “fittest” in this system. And these are, inevitably, those with the highest IQ’s thanks to genetics (tying together economics and hereditarianism)."

Now ask yourself having read all this...and I'll get to my main point....

How many of these politics does the religious right support?

Why do so many evangelical churches support the Middle Eastern wars? Why is there sole focus on fighting the liberals? Why do they support right wing politicians? Why do they support "might makes right"? Why do they support an oppressive authoritarian system? Why do they praise the most powerful and rich? Why is everything couched in civilization vs. civilization while being in warrior mode?


[from The Economic collapse blog, actually the Republicans aren't doing us any favors either]


One thing I noticed about the alt-right is they ruled by FEAR. While I have warned of some bad things happening, and are happening now, I got tired of hearing about Armageddon  being shoved down my throat and other various happenings. Those who want total control rule by the twins of fear and punishment. Think about that, for a bit. 

 How many instead of following the Bible truly believe in "survival of the fittest" and how many among them who are comfortable in this world are proud of such a fact? Do you see how societal wide narcissism and growing lack of empathy helped to fuel the alt-right? Growing coldness and hardness are now celebrated in society. In fact one facet of the alt-right rooted in the authoritarianism is to be angry at those who are too emotional to tell the "snowflakes" they are weak.

We have a right wing sociopathic idealogy that has taken over this country. This isn't to excuse the evils of the left but see how they got people on either path now? See how this is adverse to the Christian gospel? Look at the pictures I interspersed between the paragraphs, I took snippets from alt-right websites.

James 3:17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

New Blasphemy From the Pope



[took snippet off Trad Catholic channel] Pope Francis says God cannot be God without man. That's Humanism 101, that there would be "no gods' essentially without man, and that "man" invented God. It is the usual Satanic Jesuit lies. It's unbelievable what Catholics will accept but most need the gospel and need to know the truth about the religious system they are in to be free.

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Lori Anderson: Lack of Empathy is Not A Good Trait



Lori Anderson is a "Christian" blogger who promotes patriarchialism and women giving absolute obedience to men. I found this video via Spiritual Sounding board. Spiritual Sounding Board is correct that her advice is dangerous to the depressed and others. This may be blunt but I wonder if this woman has what the psychologists would refer to as narcissistic personality disorder. Is your first thought when you see the downtrodden, "Get over it and stop feeling sorry for yourself!?" Is this what Christian "comfort" has come to? Even that "snowflake" talk that is so emphasized in "right wing" circles, carries that same lack of empathy and compassion.

Maybe I am too much of a "softie" but I don't think so.  I don't want to be hard like these people. I cried over a man getting evicted from my apartment building and get the feeling this lady above would berate him for getting ill and unable pay his rent. I tried to help but could not find him any charities to store his stuff.

 One thing I noticed is many in my life who had lack of empathy would tell people "Stop feeling sorry for yourself!" This is narcissistic lack of empathy in evangelical Christian circles. I faced it with the spiritual abuser and others. There is a stoicism that is promoted especially in American evangelical churches where to have bad times means you are a bad person.

One word in the evangelical world is becoming rarer and rarer, that word is MERCY. What does Mercy mean? It's all over the Bible. Does Mercy even exist to a person whose answer to all troubles, is "Get Over it!"


mer·cy
ˈmərsē/
noun
noun: mercy; plural noun: mercies
1.
compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.
"the boy was screaming and begging for mercy"

People in the Bible got depressed too as one commenter on the Spiritual Sounding Board wrote:

" but isn’t the Bible full of believers who have suffered with various kinds of depression at some point in their lives?
Off the top of my head I think of Job, Hannah, David, Elijah, Jeremiah, etc. There are no pat answers in the Bible regarding the despondency of these people, who are all historical giants of faith. Why are we modern-day Christians not allowed to feel sad or forlorn when life is harsh and bitter?
Would Lori Alexander have the temerity to scold these people, some of the greatest folk in the scriptures? Oh wait… that’s been done already. Job’s friends. The ones who took pleasure in scolding Job about his hidden “sins” that caused his tragedies and depression. Snap out of it Job! You’re sinning and your faith is weak if you’re depressed. Lori is taking a page from their playbook."

I think one of the biggest calls as a Christian is to give comfort and mercy to others. I try to do so. I may not always be successful at it, but I refuse to ever adapt a hard nosed edge of telling people to suck it up and shut up. There's hurting people all over this world and this is the last attitude someone should have towards them. Hardness and lack of mercy are not Christian traits.